Growing up, most of us were probably told that it’s good to be different. In fact, we were encouraged to be different. Different is new. Different is cool. At first, I had no choice but to be different and eventually I learned to embrace it, even crave it. I often found myself seeking out new ways to be different in every little thing I do. I thought I was just harmlessly exploring my creativity and cultivating innovation but little did I know, this newfound obsession to stand out actually started to blur its lines with (rather unhealthy) competition. What was originally meant to be a lesson in self-worth in my primitive years actually turned into a self-battle with the world; a battle I was never meant to fight, let alone win. I wasn’t trying to just be different anymore. I wasn’t trying to be new or cool. I wasn’t even trying to be better.
I was trying to be better than.
All these years of constant comparisons have clouded my creativity and filled my thoughts with so much noise that it’s hindered my personal growth and even the growth of those around me. It’s buried my happiness so deep that I’ve forgotten what I truly enjoy, who I am, and everything I want to be. Sure, I may have managed to slip a few new experiences under my belt in that time — some I might even call achievements — but they were the achievements of others I was so fixated on bettering. What are my dreams? What are my victories? I’ll never recognize those again if I continue chasing others’. My path is all my own; not paved by someone else before me and not trampled by someone else after me. In the same way, the paths of others are all their own and they certainly never needed me plowing through after them. I need to learn to let go of all the nonsense and just be present with myself. I need to learn to listen to myself again or I’ll never hear my happiness desperately knocking — or pounding.
And as you’re forging through your path, be careful to listen to when yours is knocking too.
DAY 2. Love, Ro